We read very few books getting ready for our first baby…not sure if this is a good thing or bad but with my 9 months of nausea and a heavy work load and Mr. Cool’s very long “honey do list” getting everything ready for our new addition …there just wasn’t enough time. If I had to do it over again, I would make this book a “must-read”! I read it the hard way…during the sleep deprivation of month one when I was recovering from a cesarian. Let’s just say it wasn’t pretty but I can honesty say that this book saved us and our baby!
My sister and my therapist both referred me to Dr. Weissbluth’s book and having witnessed the great sleep habits my nephew had, I was eager to see if the method would be right for us. Several of the sleep approaches/books that friends suggested didn’t appear to be a good fit. We are “softies” and wanted a kinder and gentler approach but were willing to do the research and go with something other than our gut feeling to make sure our angel was happy and healthy in the short and long-term. This book seemed to hit that balance.
It takes discipline and follow-through to create the structure and is not easy to explain to other VIPs like grandparents and friends but it is well worth it! Yes, there is some crying involved in the beginning but contrary to what some believe, it was for a very short period of time. Our baby slept 10 hours a night at 3 months and still enjoys two 2 hour naps during the day and a 11-12 hours of sleep at night. She slept in her crib in her own room from the first day she was back from the hospital. Mommy and daddy joined her in her room on a guest trundle bed until about a month and then she was on her own. We have given the book as a gift to many new parents. Those that have chosen the method have enjoyed similar results. Several parents did not choose the method because they felt any type of crying would be hard to take and may harm the baby. Others found it didn’t work into their schedule to be so disciplined since the worked long hours and would not see their baby very much if they followed the plan. What I know is that all of the people I know that followed this book, have kids that have developed exceptional sleep habits. Those that didn’t, seemed to have challenges.
I’m asked about why we chose this method a lot so I’ve included a conversation I had with one new mom below in hopes it helps others in their decision making.New Mom: It just doesn’t feel right to let my small baby cry? How could that be good for them? Doesn’t that teach them that when they need you, you will not respond?Mrs. Cool: First, this book is not about teaching a “cry” method. I believe my baby actually cries much less than other babies I’ve seen. This book teaches you to observe your baby and if you are able to put them to sleep when they first show signs, then the crying is minimal to none. The book’s techniques help you quickly teach your baby to self-soothe and put themselves to sleep. The book explains this in detail but the type of crying when the baby is sleepy is in a different state than when awake and trying to get fed or changed. You still take care of the baby’s every need and still check on the baby to make sure they are ok. The baby needs to learn to self-soothe and put themselves to sleep. The crying is more uncomfortable for the parent than it is the child. After a month of being strong for your baby and keeping the routine and the methods in the book, your baby learns to soothe themselves to sleep and you give them one of the best gifts for health – the ability to put themselves to sleep. At 14 months, our baby now asks us to put her into the crib so she can go to sleep. At 3 years old, my nephew reminds his parents when he needs to go to sleep early.
New Mom: But the schedule is so rigid…family members want to be a part of the baby’s life and they will be offended if I don’t wake him when they come for a visit. Not to mention, my husband works late and would never get to see the baby awake. How did you deal with that?
Mrs. Cool: Early on, we both decided to make our baby’s health a priority and make the difficult decisions needed. Sleep seemed to be more important than anything else for our baby’s health so we told everyone the sleep times and if they made it during the “awake” times, they saw the baby. This included mom and dad. If we didn’t make it on time, then, we got to look at the baby sleeping in her crib. No discussion or negotiation. We were not very popular at first with some but once everyone saw how healthy and happy our baby was, they understood and supported us.
New Mom: I understand what you are saying but how did you get your husband to agree? My husband just can’t take the crying and he has to get up and go to work early! How did you convince Mr. Cool to go along with it?
Mrs. Cool: We talked about it and overall I think he trusts my judgement and knows I normally over research and over think stuff but I would be lying if I said he didn’t have any reservations at first. There is some lost sleep in the beginning but it is an investment that will pay off in long nights of sleep when other parents are still struggling with sleep habits. Even a small amount of crying is difficult to take but Mr. Cool kept to the plan and when the results started to speak for themselves, he was a believer and there was no turning back. Just the other day, I had stopped in a baby store to get a few things and I found him with the baby in the corner of the store talking to this young couple about to have a baby – telling them all about the book! Yup, it’s that good!
Happy Sleep Habits, Happy Child is by Dr. Mark Weissbluth and available on Amazon.
